Life-interview: 35 questions for your parents, if they’re still with you
INTERVIEW SOMEONE YOU LOVE ABOUT LIFE
My dad has been away with cardiac arrest but was revived.
And my first thought was. I want to do a lifetime interview before it's too late.
I have the most wonderful father in the world, whom I love wildly. We are very close.
He's not just my dad, he's my best friend.
Among other things, we have built two houses together.
My Dad has got Parkinson's, which is really starting to take hold, so we're making a video where he answers 35 questions.
Questions about his own childhood, his youth and so on. Among other things, I ask Dad what he wants us to do and know before he leaves. The answer to that question comes here:
“Love yourself and love your family.
Forgive yourself and forgive your neighbor.
Be grateful for what you have.
Always be there for the people who are having a hard time that you meet on your way.
Be yourself. Be honest.
Do your best. Take care of your family.
Treat people with respect.
Be a good citizen. Follow your dreams."
And the answer to how to manage to be married for 61 years and still count came promptly:
"Forgive one another. Constant. Forgive one another."
My father came out to serve when he was 12 years old on the neighboring farm in Kongens Thisted in North Jutland. It was actually quite late to get out to serve in that family, but that was because, Dad was one of the oldest in the sibling group and he helped take care of the other siblings. Up on the neighboring farm he slept in a bare chamber, where the mattress was made of hay. Dad had hot water bottles laid in the hay in bed in the winter and he only went to school every other day.
The working day over at the neighboring farm started at 5 in the morning with hot oatmeal with sugar on with a proper blob of butter (it is still his favorite) and then it was otherwise out and milking.
The day ended at 19 with the last milking. They were 14 siblings in total and father is the second eldest. Only 2 of his siblings are dead.
They are still 12 siblings left and they are seen regularly.
I ask Dad what he wants us to do and know before he's gone.
He wanted us to take care of our mother.
And we do. He wanted us to love each other.
And we do.
If you are blessed to have a good father and a good connection with him, I encourage you to interview him about his life and to record the conversation. (And if you do not know him well or have that connection, an interview might help).
Martin Luther said:
"Where we dare to talk about death, life becomes very real and alive.
We discover and talk about the things that are most important to us.
Talking about death makes grief less complicated and it gives much greater gratitude for life, for the present. "
Seneca said 2,000 years ago, "It is not because something is difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that something is difficult."
Dad and I have talked about and planned the whole funeral.
While we just sat there together and tooted. And hugged.
What hymns he will have sung.
What to preach over etc.
And I've put it all in a G file titled Dad's Funeral.
We agreed on a date where we should have it done.
Because we had tried several times, but without success. And I remember he greeted me there in the doorway with completely wet eyes. Terrible day. But it is a relief that it's over.
I hope the 35 questions help you get to know him even better and that the footage connects you with him as he passes away and also serves to share his message with your children and future generations.
In honor of my father, I hope you get to know your even better.
Questions:
CHILDHOOD
1. What do you think of when you think of growing up in [hometown]?
2. What did you love to do as a child before primary school?
3. What did you love to do in school
5. What do you remember most about your mother (grandmother)?
6. What was most important to her?
7. What do you remember most about your father (grandfather)?
8. What was most important to him?
9. If Grandma and Grandpa had a message for you and their grandchildren, what do you think it is?
10. What message do you have for your siblings that you want them to always remember?
11. When you think about the fact that you grew up with 13 siblings, what did your everyday life look like.
YOUTH
12. What do you remember most about your teenage years?
13. How did you meet my mother and know she was the only one?
ADULTHOOD
14. How do you endure each other for 61 years and still counting?
15. How did you choose your career and what was your favorite part of it?
16. What made you successful at work?
17. What did you believe in yourself that helped you succeed and tackle difficult times?
18. What times in your life "really tested" you, and what did you learn about yourself by dealing with (or not dealing with) them?
19. Which three events characterize your life the most?
20. What do you remember about when we were all born?
21. Were you ever afraid to be a parent?
22. Name the 3 most important values you as my father would like to pass on.
22. What three words would you say represented your approach to parenting and why?
23. When you think of my mother, how would you describe her?
24. What message do you have for my mother that you want her / him to always remember?
25. What three words would you say best describe who you were trying to be in life and how you will be remembered?
26. What do you want your children to focus on when thinking about their careers?
27. What have you learned about other people in life? (reliable, kind or not and evil)?
28. What do you think the world needs more of right now?
29. What do you think people want most in life?
30. What were the three best decisions you ever made?
31. What are you most proud of in life?
32. What were five of the most positive moments in your life?
33. What message would you like to share with your family?
34. What are you most grateful for?
35. Are you afraid of death?
Best regards Asbjørn Jensen